I challenge you to start swapping something negative for something encouraging or positive and see what type of result you find. I dare you tell the next woman you see that she is beautiful. Did you know that when polled*, over 75% of girls 10 -14 felt as though they weren’t pretty enough? We have more than enough to deal with coming out of the gate. Stop Tearing Each Other Apart and Start Building Each Other Up.
Before you read this, please note: I WILL NOT APOLOGIZE for any of the following. The truth is no longer the truth when it’s altered. I promise to tell it EXACTLY as I perceive it.
I hardly ever directly address a certain race or group of people. However, I think now is the time to do so.
Whatever happened to the words of Mary J. Blige, “Stay Down”? Though that particular song was written based on the relationship between two lovers, it can also be applied to a sisterhood or true friendship. Since the age of 6, it quickly became apparent that I wouldn’t move through life with many female counterparts. Being the outsider and different, prepared me for the lonely journey that I have traveled for the last 23 years.
Though so called “haters” do fuel the very fire that makes success possible, it’s quite unfortunate that it seems to always come from within what one would assume to be “my camp”. It baffles me to see black women of all people, tear one another part. It’s no secret that women in general can be catty, but this is something entirely different. It’s like a plague that is spreading rapidly. The need to dissect another woman without just cause is a reflection upon your own insecurities within yourself. What does it gain you to demean another? Does it give you a temporary boost in your self-esteem? Or does it justify your lack of drive or self-value?
Allow me to empower you with a bit of knowledge. Before you go dropping hateful and derogatory verbiage on another woman, try finding out exactly who she is. You never know, SHE could be the very person that can help you get to where you are trying go. Just imagine if we invested just as much time into lifting one another up as we do tearing each other down, there could be some serious advancement within our culture. There will always be someone more beautiful than you, more educated, have a hotter husband or boyfriend, drive a better car, have a bigger house, more worldly and cultured than you. Don’t be intimidated. Just maybe she can clue you in on something that you are lacking.
As women, we are the mothers that raise our children and instill morals and values into the innocent lives of our future. For what will happen if this plague continues to spread like wildfire? We will soon eradicate the race as a whole. Don’t believe me? Try taking a group of 30 people. If they all hate each other and want to destroy one another, eventually all will be defeated and one will be left standing. Unfortunately, that one will be his own demise because of the hate that he harbors within. It will eventually kill him too. Harboring hate reflects upon our children and in particular our young boys. We need to teach them love and how to be a team player, not how to live as a crab does. It’s pretty obvious right? Apparently not.
I’ve never lived my life to please anyone other than God, myself and perhaps, at one time my family. Don’t spend your time worried about what I’m doing because I will continue to do me. You should spend time doing you and more importantly, if you need me, I’ll be there to help you in anyway I can. There’s enough out there for everyone. You just have to learn how to tap into it. Don’t judge me based on what you think I have or don’t have; on who you think I was married to or going to marry; on how I look or don’t look. Books have covers for a reason. You’ll never know what lies in between the covers unless you spend time reading the actual content. How many times in school did you neglect to prepare for a test and then at last moment try to look for context clues? Odds are you probably failed that exam. The same applies to people.
I will close with this statement:
The Team Haute™ Movement is about empowerment. We are a team that shares a common goal to strive for greatness and excellence. In the process of achieving our goals we uplift and encourage one another. The moment that a jealous twitch enters our mind, we combat it with love and rest in the fact that one-day our turn will come too. Remember, you get out what you put in.
If you find yourself on the other side of this philosophy, you may want to resign from Team Haute™. Don’t fret though! You continue to play crucial part in fueling that raging fire.
Team Haute™: It’s not only a movement; it’s a way of life.